SERGIO IS ONE OF BELGIUM'S MOST POPULAR ALL-ROUND ENTERTAINERS. SOME SAY HE IS 'MR. ENTERTAINMENT'. Some may, but it didn't help Sergio at this year's Eurovision Song Contest, where Sergio and a bunch of other Euro-rockers were defeated by Latvia's Marie N.
The tuneful Latvian is accustomed to winning. According to her biography at the official Eurovision website, "She has repeatedly gained the audience's vote at the Voice of Asia festivals for professional singers held in Alma-Ata, Kazakhstan." Ah, Alma-Ata, the Memphis of the world's unspellable hellzones.
Personally, I believe Sergio should have triumphed. After all, as his biography informs us – in the Brussels-mandated "English" all of Europe will soon be forced to use – Sergio is able to light up the entire world:
Whether he's bringing the roof down in packed halls or presenting his own TV shows, he's what every artist should be: seasoned and professional. Wherever he goes, it's party time - room, bar, hall, yes, even the world seems to light up, there's a smile on everyone's face. Sergio's television programmes score high in the ratings. In demand both with the public as well as the commercial broadcasters, he's hosted various game shows and fun magazines.
Maybe the fun magazine host will win next year. Germany's entrant will be hoping for success next year, too:
Blind since birth, Corinna May is very popular in her homeland … Before embarking on her journey to Tallinn, Corinna May likes to relax during a nice dinner with good friends. To keep herself fit for her show in Estonia the singeer maintain her daily fitness regime and whenever she doesn't feel like working out, she enjoy going to the movies with her friends. But what she loves most in music and singing true her philosophy 'I can't live without music'.
Or someone to tell her what's happening in those movies she likes. The Russian Federation sent as their representatives an alleged "boy band" modelled after the likes of Take That. The band's name? Prime Minister. Well, you know how all the young chicks dig senior party officials. Prime Minister is led by the charismatic Jean Grigoriev-Milimerov:
Jean's first stage experience goes back to the age of five. It happened during one of his parents tours. 'I remember,-says Jean,- first coming on stage with tears in my eyes. I was five and terrified of the public. Mother made me perform a Gypsy folk dance.' At the end of the show the audience applauded enthusiastically and the talented child wept with fear in the dressing room. Later his parents sent him to music school (class of violin).
Nowadays it's Jean who's enthusiastic (class of crap singing) while the audience weeps with fear. Another band member, Marat Chanyshev, once worked on the Russian version of Candid Camera. Presumably, judging by the show's foreboding name – You Are A Witness – so did members of the KGB's elite entrapment and blackmail squads.
How important is the Eurovision Song Contest? Massively so, especially to German music writer Jan Fedderson, whose praise of the event earned him an interview with the Eurovision website:
Jan: When you ask what is important about the contest, I am not able to answer. But I could ask you in return: what is important about Christmas? The song contest is like a fifth season, an additional value.
Interviewer: The Eurovision song contest is a fifth season?! Have you coined this saying?
Jan: Completely. I always express only my own thoughts.
Good for him! And at this point any discussion of Europe's cultural superiority over the US, Australia, Papua New Guinea, the Antarctic, or anywhere, officially ends.