Tim Blair

2003-05-24T02:44:00.000+10:00

THIS SITE HAS MOVED. Go here. More information below.

2003-05-24T01:24:00.000+10:00

A GENIUS named Andrea Harris has moved this site to an entirely new, super-zesty zone right here. Bookmark this address:

http://timblair.spleenville.com

It's a complete Moveable Type extravaganza, just like Damian Penny now has (except much less Canadian). There's comments and everything!

Well, until I remove them. There may be a zoomy new design soon, too, once I re-activate the designing process. And possibly the address will change. Whatever. You'll notice also that I have yet to completely alter the format to cope with headlines.

In the meantime, celebrate, for I am now free of Blogspot. To Andrea!

2003-05-23T16:11:00.000+10:00

THANKS, TERRORISTS! The suicide bombers who attacked Casablanca have caused movie makers to halt a $200 million film deal in a Muslim country - and transfer the whole operation to evil Australia.

2003-05-23T16:06:00.000+10:00

THE MELBOURNE Age today reviews Beavis and Butt-head, apparently unaware that the final episode went to air six years ago. In next week's Age: Should Murphy Brown have a child out of wedlock?

2003-05-23T16:05:00.000+10:00

HOW DO you improve dull wire copy? You add pictures. I learned this old trick when I worked on newspapers.

2003-05-23T16:04:00.000+10:00

RAPE CHARGES against the Governor-General have been withdrawn. And he isn't quitting - not yet, anyway - despite the braying of Simon Crean.

2003-05-23T13:05:00.000+10:00

THE UN is back, and it's better than ever!

The new UN Security Council resolution on Iraq approved today showed the world body "is back", French Foreign Minister Dominique de Villepin said.

Speaking on state-run France Inter radio before the vote, he said: "We can consider that the UN is back, and at bottom that is now the key issue: to make sure that the UN can resume its place" in the handling of the Iraq crisis.

"We are convinced that the UN alone is capable of bringing its legitimacy, experience and effectiveness on the ground," he noted.

Dominique should have expressed these noble thoughts in verse:

Dominique de Villepin, the French Foreign Minister, has written an 800-page book about poetry, including examples of his own work.

Here is an extract from his preface: "This eulogy owes nothing to artifice or chance. It has ripened inside me since childhood. From the bottom of my pockets, stuck to the back of my smock, hidden in the corner of abacuses, poetry gushed out …"

Maybe not. Smock-wearing poem gusher.

2003-05-23T12:52:00.000+10:00

AFTER READING
this, I just had to go buy a Treacher t-shirt from Honest Jim's House of Items:

Tim's alright, you know. I don't always get what he's talking about, with all the stuff about Aussie politicians and TV shows nobody in the civilized world has ever heard of, but he's good with the zingers. Seems like most of the people who really hate him have no discernible sense of humor, so I think it's less of a left/right thing than a stick/no-stick-up-the-ass thing.

And if I was a woman or a homo or just really really blitzed, I'd probly do 'im. Fortunately for him, I am none of those things at the time of this writing.

Jim's alright, too. I just never want to share a prison cell with him. Oh, here's the shirt. Buy one for that special person in your life and hear her exclaim: "What the hell?!"

2003-05-23T12:15:00.000+10:00

LEARN ABOUT Australian politics the easy Tok Pisin way via the ABC's Papua New Guinean news service! Here's the latest on Australia Praim Minista John Howard and his Foren Minista Alexander Downer, who recently asked Robert Mugabe to step daun. Zimbabwe bilongs to ol the pipal!

2003-05-23T11:45:00.000+10:00

THE SAN ANTONIO EXPRESS-NEWS got the ball rolling on the whole Jayson Blair affair. As Mark Harden reports, however, it has since done everything in its power to stop that crazy ball:

In a preemptive bid to cut off discussion of the pernicious influence of racial preferences which was brought to wider attention as a result of the scandal, local writers from Clack ("Don't put other journalists in same boat as Blackbeard Blair"), to Rangel ("Big Apple's bad apple must not ruin march toward diversity") to Fletcher Stoeltje ("New York Times' shame is about human nature, not diversity") have rushed to toss a blanket over the elephant in our living room.

Mark has all the links. Go read.

2003-05-23T11:31:00.000+10:00

ACIDMAN'S Blog Survivor contest has me in its hostile, unblinking gaze. Will I survive? Nobody knows!

The A-man might be on to something here. Blog-related reality shows could be the Next Big Thing. Marry a Blogger, for example, with various babes competing for the right to support the posting habits of a semi-employed blogging spouse. Big Blogger, in which several bloggers post at the same site while an unseen tormentor randomly changes their sign-ins. And Weakest Link, a study of weblog spelling errors that lead to Error 404 pages. Hey, I'd watch!

2003-05-23T03:51:00.000+10:00

REMEMBER how the residents of Moab were furious that a bomb was named after their town? Well, imagine how the people who live here must feel.

UPDATE. Reader Andy D. writes:

Never mind how the town feels about the journalist; how must the journalist feel about the town? This place is an overwhelming affront to everything he stands for! I mean, how does a population of 361 manage to support not one but TWO Lutheran churches!? This is an outrageous example of homogenised monotheocentrism! Why are these people not embracing multiculturalism and theological diversity? It's appalling!

In a good and perfect world, John would be spinning in his grave over this.

2003-05-23T03:50:00.000+10:00

NICOLE KIDMAN without a few grams of tobacco between her fingers = Australia's favourite actress. Nicole Kidman with = horror monster baby-eater outcast freak beast:

Her face has graced the covers of hundreds of fashion magazines worldwide and she is regularly voted one of the most beautiful women.

But the world glimpsed uglier images of Nicole Kidman at the Cannes Film Festival yesterday when she smoked her way through an international press conference.

2003-05-23T03:49:00.000+10:00

THE JOHN KAMPFNER debate continues. Now Tim Dunlop - an early doubter of the Lynch rescue story - adds this furious condemnation:

I must say, the BBC guy doesn't sound all that convincing.

Whoa! Don't hold back, dude!

2003-05-23T03:48:00.000+10:00

ONE DAY after the national president of the public sector union died of a brain aneurism, a colleague offers this tribute:

"He had a big friendly smile and a good brain."

2003-05-23T03:17:00.000+10:00

JOHN HOWARD'S AUSTRALIA is supposed to be a cruel place, rejecting innocent refugees and beating up on little Afghan children. Yeah, sure:

Two members of the Indonesian terrorist group responsible for the Bali bombings have been granted permanent residency after claiming religious and political asylum in Australia.

Documents obtained under Freedom of Information legislation reveal 10 members of Jemaah Islamiah were refused protection visas by the Refugee Review Tribunal, but two men were later granted residency.

Both of the successful applicants, who claimed persecution on the basis of their membership of JI, are believed to be Indonesian-born and have been free to travel in and out of Australia.

Yay. Freedom.

2003-05-22T18:17:00.000+10:00

THE US House of Reps awards a $2 million military contract - to the French! From Wyeth Wire:

WASHINGTON - U.S Representative Jim DeMint (R-S.C.) today announced that the House Defense Authorization bill contains nearly $2 million for a Michelin facility in the upstate area to assemble tires for the Marine Corps' Land Attack Vehicles (LAV). The House is scheduled to pass the annual Defense Authorization bill later this week and the funding is expected to be formally appropriated later this year.

UPDATE. An ex-Michelin employee writes:

Don't go to a liberal slanted blog for your information. Yes, technically, Michelin is French (although they've moved the "corporation" to Switzerland for obvious tax reasons).

But: Michelin has plants all over the South East U.S. (especially concentrated in South Carolina, and in Jim DeMint's district). These tires will be made in the U.S., the tire molds will be made in the US, and the rubber, steel and fibers will all also made in the US.

In fact, these tires were probably designed in the US (The Greenville, SC area also has the North American R&D facility.

The profits may benefit to Michelin shareholders (and that won't be significant in this "almost commodity business), but very little to the French government or government run business.

BTW - Almost all the top jobs in Michelin North America are held by North Americans (A few that I know personally are US Military Academy, West Point, grads).

And from Maureen:

Actually, I regard that piddling $2 million contract as an insult to the French. Last year the US spent $518 billion on the military (not counting intelligence operations), and I'm sure it's much higher this year and will be higher still next year. Add to that the fact that, while the tiny award went to a French-owned company, the work will be done in the US, so US workers at the tire plant will reap some benefit and the facility's local government will take in some tax revenue. It's sort of like leaving a penny tip to punish a bad restaurant experience, and I hope the Pentagon keeps it up whilst awarding juicy contracts to our friends.

2003-05-22T18:15:00.000+10:00

HMMM. According to Four Corners' account of conditions inside the Woomera Detention Centre, a "19-year-old Afghan" threw himself into razor wire. The Bunyip has evidence that suggests the "Afghan" was actually a member of the Baktiyari family - who were refused visas because they are Pakistanis rather than Afghans.

Was the man featured in the program the same chap shown here? I didn't see the show. Anyone who did is welcome to compare and correspond.

(Another point: one of the more antagonistic former Woomera staff members interviewed on the show "was soon given the sack over another matter." Four Corners provided no additional information. Curious.)

2003-05-22T18:12:00.000+10:00

JENNIFER LOPEZ has found a studly new boypal. Will Matt Welch's father audition for a lookalike role? Maybe I should; I've got this guy's look completely down.

2003-05-22T18:09:00.000+10:00

ANTI-AUSTRALIAN brutality in New Jersey. Several emus killed.

2003-05-22T18:08:00.000+10:00

JAPAN
adopts the Howard position.

2003-05-22T18:05:00.000+10:00

THE AUSTRALIAN states it plainly:

The ABC is falling short of the duty, stated clearly in the Australian Broadcasting Corporation Act and reiterated in the ABC's own code of practice, to present news and analysis that is accurate, impartial, and balanced.

2003-05-22T18:04:00.000+10:00

ACTUALLY, the ABC isn't presenting any news at all. Richard Glover just announced on ABC radio: "Due to industrial action there will be no 6pm news." Your taxes not at work.

2003-05-22T03:32:00.000+10:00

IT'S THE MOST BORING INTERNET QUIZ EVER! Are the following lines from The Dullest Blog In The World or from South Australian leftist academic Gary Sauer-Thompson?

Test your dullness-guessing abilities! (Answers may be found a couple of posts below):

1. I have a number of objects in my house.

2. I sat outside on the balcony this morning.

3. I've been thinking about the Howard Government's third term reform agenda.

4. As I was looking around my house I noticed that there were a number of empty glasses.

5. I cannot figure out the digital Swedish washing machine.

6. I'm still catching up with the reading of the newspapers.

7. I came home and needed to open the front door to get into the house.

8. I was having breakfast and doing the washing this morning.

9. I was doing some things and noticed that it was nearly time for something to eat.

10. I noticed that there were a few things lying around here and there.

11. I left the room and walked past the ironing board.

12. I had breakfast in the early morning autumn sunshine.

13. I ate one or two biscuits this evening.

14. I'm slowly getting around to reading the weekend newspapers.

15. I looked at the internet for a while.

16. I have been trying to get connected to broadband this week.

17. I have become a little tired of the war with Iraq and I wanted a break from it for a moment.

18. I logged onto the internet and thought about posting something on my blog.

19. Whilst on holiday I missed out on a lot of reading of newspapers.

20. I have not been following events in the Middle East since the fall of Baghdad due to renovations.

21. I read a few articles from one section of the newspaper.

22. Whilst surfing the internet I happened upon a page which had a number of links on it.

23. I have been wandering in cyberspace late at night.

24. Today I logged onto the internet.

25. I have been trying to get connected to Broadband today.

26. Whilst walking along I noticed that there were some cars driving along the road.

27. I went into a cafe the other day.

28. I did not see any television whilst on holiday.

29. I did some washing up this evening.

30. I have realized that Tim Blair has no pity or compassion for the vulnerable and the fragile.

UPDATE. Gary gets into the spirit of things.

2003-05-22T03:31:00.000+10:00

NICOLE KIDMAN smokes. It's unheard of - an actress, smoking! And in front of the impressionable, non-smoking French! Right Thinking salutes the brave Australian, and Moxiegirl contributes grade-A commentary. Will Nicole's tragic nicotine habit bankrupt her? Not likely; she's the only "solo self-made woman" in this year's list of the 200 richest Australians.