A CLUTCH OF HOLLYWOOD STARS? No, no, no, that won't do at all. Here are your suggestions for a more apt, less clutchy collective celebrity noun, beginning with two from Gareth Parker:
What about a "delusion"? A "vacuum"?
And from Rebecca Harris:
Since we are speaking of Hollywood celebrities, I propose "befuddle"
instead of "clutch", as in: a befuddle of movie stars.
From deep within California's befuddlement capital, a secret pro-war identity writes:
I'm a young actor in Hollywood. My few friends who agree with me that we
should be going to war, and I, call Jessica Lange, and her ilk, the
"syndicate." Of course, we do so in hushed tones, and in fear of reprisals.
The menace of the blacklist is never far away. Paul Bickford - a former crazy punk rock type himself - suggests:
How about a "clutter"? Clutter implies a pile of useless objects with no purpose, that get in the road.
If only they spent more time cluttering unemployment lines. Here's Carey Gage:
Lange was among a doofus of Hollywood stars ...
Matthew Johnson offers several choices:
a whine of Hollywood stars
a vanity of Hollywood stars
an apology of Hollywood stars
His favourite is among my favourites, too:
a collaboration of Hollywood stars
P.J. Currie admits to stealing from James Lileks:
Clusterfarg of stars
Kev Metcalfe supplies a noun that the Hollywoodistas would probably embrace:
A 'Chirac' = cowardly, self serving, not dealing with reality and not very
"You could just create a new collective noun," writes Rob Lain,
LtCol USMCR, "but that's almost too easy." Instead, LtCol Lain has plundered the collective-noun dictionary:
1. Cowardice, as in "a cowardice of curs."
2. Piteousness, as in "a piteousness of doves."
3. Rabble, as in "a rabble of rats."
4. Smack, as in "a smack of jellyfish."
5. Plague, as in "a plague of locusts."
6. Thicket, as in "a thicket of idiots." (OK, that one's listed as "spurious.")
Out of Deerfield, Illinois, Fred Butzen e-mails:
Howzabout "gaggle". Or "herd". Or "flock".
Dave Schipani answers Fred, pre-emptively:
"Herd"? Nah. While it defines their bovine intellects, they could turn
it around and say, "Yes! We're being led to slaughter by a cowboy, and
so are you!" Given their fetish for homicidal thugocrats, I propose "murder." They're
all (Sheryl) Crows anyway, right?
Robbin Smith agrees:
How about "murder"? These nutjobs have all the grace, wit, intelligence and
vocal range of a "murder" of crows. Note also the double meaning, as we
would not want to forget about Mr. Hussein's designs on any hapless subject
who opposes him after we breathlessly heed the advice of these twits.
A reader named "Mathgirl" chooses murder, then adds to it:
I agree that clutch is not an appropriate plural designation for the word
"celebrity", so I went in search of a new one.
I thought perhaps it could be "a murder of celebrities", as in "a murder of
crows." The crow angle suits Ms. Lange well, and the need of the artistic to
flutter about pointlessly or sit idle while making a great din just clinches
Then I figured that if we had a name for a group of celebrities, we might
need a name for their natural habitat, as well. If a place where cats are
bred and raised is called a cattery, then would Hollywood be a battery?
From Kim Crawford:
You could have a smug of stars, a backpat of stars, a hug of Hollywood
stars, or even a groupthink of celebrities.
Here's Gary Schamburg’s list of "words more appropriate than 'clutch'":
faction, sect, splinter group, offshoot, cult . . .
Joshua Fielek isn't short of options, either:
An ooze of Hollywood stars
A dork of Hollywood stars
A slime of Hollywood stars
A sleaze of Hollywood stars
Duncan Baxter asks:
Would it not be a whine, a pomposity or an ignorance of Hollywood stars?
J.D. Zeigler sets him (and us) straight:
The proper collective noun for actors/celebs is "ego", as in - "An ego of
actors staged an anit-war protest in the bar at Spago today."
Obviously, a gathering of ten or more actors/celebs should be referred to as
an "overweening ego". Example: “An overweening ego of actors will be wearing
No War for Oil buttons at the Oscar ceremonies.”
"I propose 'Gaggle'", writes Kevin Bloom, and Alene is with him: "'Gaggle' is good." Gaggle is good. From the always-good NZ pundit:
A surrender of stars
The fourth of Carl Williams's selections especially rocks:
a "preen" of Hollywood stars
a "blither" of Hollywood stars
a "vacuity" of Hollywood stars
a "sump" of Hollywood stars
And the winner, from Steve Yuoconis:
Oscar winner Jessica Lange was among a coprolite of Hollywood stars today who helped deliver an anti-war petition - signed by more than 1 million people - to the US mission to the United Nations.