I AM A TERRORIST. That's Matt C.'s opinion after reading my Fox News column. Here's Matt's letter, which in tone and content is typical of the rantings of the post-September 11 kindergarten Left:
"I hope you're fired for thinking the sane person should go out and get a gun. You should be the one that nervous right wing soccer moms are calling the CIA over."
Nervous right-wing soccer moms. Sounds like a great name for Frank Black's next band.
"I reacted to September 11th by calling my aunt, seeing if it was ok, and hoping people would immediately question americas fucking horrible international policies."
No more aid to Afghanistan!
"After so many days of 'America At War,' where THERE WAS NO WAR AMERICA WAS INVOLVED IN, and seeing everyone throwing rocks at Arabs, I was sick of america."
Everyone is throwing rocks at Arabs? What part of the US are you living in, Matt?
"Sick of patriotism, this rampant nationalism once found in more fascist countries. Yes, around 3000 people died. At the same time, around 39,000 people outside of the US died that day as well, but we are used to that, seeing as we perpetrate many of the actions ourselves."
"America does not have a clean track record, or a reliable government, I am very scared by the patriot act and the recent 'terrorism' bills that allow anyone to stop me for any reason, Bush's only plan to stop terrorism is apparently taking away all of our civil rights."
Have you actually been stopped, even once? Could you please list the civil rights you no longer enjoy? Do you understand the function of a comma?
"Dissent has been eliminated by stupid and incompetent biased one-sided right wing writers like yourself, saying CITIZENS, ARM YOURSELF, THE ARABS ARE COMING."
We're not that stupid, then, are we? You call us incompetent, but we've totally eliminated dissent. And it only took us a few months.
"Cracking jokes about arabian citizens, teaching children to hate, they think video games cause problems.. they should take a look at slanted media checked and even fed by groups such as the CIA."
I'll be right back. Someone's at the door. Hey, great! It's another delivery of lobsters and pie from the CIA!
"The OSI, the CIA's newest office, was founded to send black propaganda over seas to 'ensure our safety' and were minimally worried about possibly losing a little bit of credibility."
Who are they sending overseas? Al Sharpton?
"I thought we were working on this world peace agenda, yet israel/palestine, columbia/farc, korea/us, and all the other obvious problems are thrown out because they think they can get away with shorting us out on more rights."
It's all a plot, Matt. A plot to remove your rights. Your right to use capital letters for proper nouns – removed! Your right to coherence – gone!
"The conservatives have come back to power and I, for one, will not stand it."
"I call every senator for NY (I live in rochester), the white house hotline, write letters, and participate in peaceful grassroots movements to try and ensure civil liberties that should have been given to us by the constitution, but are obviously abused."
You called the White House hot line?
"I really hope the ever-slanted sensationalist fox news network, who really has no credibility itself anymore (after cancelling such a thought-inducing critique of modern society as family guy and replacing it with none other than … GLUTTON BOWL?), should let you go to find your weapons, or at least report YOU as a terrorist, for this racial profiling and bullshit."
So that's the extent of your civil rights restrictions … no more Family Guy. Why, this is worse than Nazi Germany! (By the way, when did Family Guy run on Fox News? After O'Reilly? Before Hannity and Colmes? Did Stewie Griffin appear on the Beltway Boys?)